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Friday, October 23, 2020

(OMG) What is Mom Shaming? (Update)

Have you been mom shamed? Or better yet have you been mom shaming? Exactly what is mom shaming? Are you mom shaming and your not aware of it? Learn more at anointedtoday.blogspot.com


 

                                                       Mom Shaming 

What is good for your family may not be good for another. Mom shaming is judging others from your own mom experience, voicing it openly or on social media, and possibly making the other feel less than. It is a type of bullying. Have you seen those that mom shame your children while they act as though their children are perfect angels.


1. Examples of Mom Shaming

These are only a few of mom shaming examples. How many can you think of?

A. If you are not a stay at home mom you are harming your children

B. I would never let a nanny raise my children

C. Single mother- Why aren’t you married

D. Snacks should be gluten free


2. Your parental choice

I was at an event where the children required helmets on their head for protection. There were about 50-60 children. I observed that they were not wiping the helmets down before the children put them on. I asked the attendant why? She responded, “ Oh we wipe the helmets down before the event.” I would not let my child participate and told the attendant not wiping them down after each child put on that same helmet was unsanitary and there were lice problems in several schools. Now another parent standing behind me said, “ Oh I don’t care my child can wear the same helmet, kids get lice, mine have had them before, no big deal.” Now that is the choice she made for her child, but I did not need to hear that. Eventually the attendant found me later and showed me she had spray and towel to wipe down helmet for my child. I was elated and glad I stuck to my decision.



3. Mom Shamed by a Stranger or So-called friend

Have you ever had a stranger come up to you and tell you what you should be doing with your children? For example, “I would never let my children run around in the store like that.” Maybe that person forgot your children are not her children.

 Not all times but sometimes solicited advice can be helpful. For example my first baby as a little one would cry a lot and was fidgety in church. I did not realize babies are babies. All babies will not be quite in church their only way to communicate to you is to cry and holler. Anyway, I was at my wit’s end. The first lady at my previous church asked to hold my baby. She took my 5 month old and sat her in her lap upright with her arms snug around her. My baby immediately started falling to sleep in her arms. That was a welcome relief.  She did not judge me verbally, but assisted me at the right time. 

4. Judgmental family

Thank goodness for my sister-in-law. When my daughter was about 10 months I struggled to get her to take a nap. She thought she might miss something. When we were visiting my sister-in-law she did not say a judgmental word but instead said, “ I'm taking my niece upstairs and we are going to take a nap.” Sure enough my daughter would go right to sleep with her. I learned something new. Taking a nap together.  She could have been verbally judgmental, but instead stepped in at the right time when I needed it.  

I have even been judgmental and was not aware of it at the time. I was with my grandson at a function where they were zip-lining. They wanted to put a helmet on his head but it had not been sanitized before each use and there were lots of children lined up for this. This was before the Pandemic mind you. I would not allow my grandchild to participate while another parent did and her response was, “So she might catch lice so what children do.” She said it very casually. I thought to myself, “ It is bad enough children come to school with lice and spread it to others, but the way they were doing this was very unhealthy. I thought, “What kind of parent is she?” After making my feelings known the person over the zip-lining did find sanitizing spray and towels to wipe the helmets before use so I then allowed my grandson to participate.  

5. Mom- Shaming During the Pandemic

According to Nytimes.Com some parents have had to take their children out of expensive daycare and some have opted to stay home with their children. Others have pushed for schools to reopen because they do not feel adequate schooling their children or that their children are not learning as well. They further add that according to a 2017 national poll of nearly 500 moms conducted by Michigan Medicine’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital almost two-thirds have felt mom-shamed. Well this is a parent’s choice and their should be no mom shaming about that. Every parent makes the decision that they feel is best for their child. Every family and every child is different.



Remember what is right for your family may not be right for another.


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7 comments:

Dee | GrammysGrid.com said...

Thanks so much for linking up at the #WednesdayAIMLinkParty 38!

Bloggingwithapril said...

Great post, women do this all the time whether it's in your presence or behind your back. I agree what may work for one family may not be work well for someone else's family.

Marielle said...

This is an important topic. We can all do better with loving and serving others without judging or shaming. I appreciate the examples you shared of the woman at church and your sister-in-law who helped without judging. Thanks for sharing this. I'm visiting today from the Hearth and Soul link up. Have a great week Betty!

anointedtoday said...

Thank you. Thanks for stopping by unknown. Hope to hear from you again.

anointedtoday said...

Thank You Marielle. Thanks for stopping by anointedtoday.blogspot.com. Come back soon.

Laurie at Laurie's Place said...

I'm visiting from the Happy Friday Blog. I appreciate the examples you shared of the people who offered non-judgmental help rather than judgment. It's often said that it takes a village to raise a child...and in a lot of cases, I think that's true. Parents are stressed, most of them could use a friendly face and a helping hand in their corners. It's good to reach out and offer help and friendship, but we need to be careful how we do that so that it doesn't come off as if we are judging the other party as inadequate to the task.

anointedtoday said...

Thanks for stopping by Laurie. I agree with you.