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Monday, June 19, 2017

Do Your Kids Hate Church? Update:

Should children have a choice as to whether they go to church? What is the reasoning behind why children do not want to go to church? Are there many children in your church?

kids church 

Are children at church because their parents are forcing them to go to church? Possibly when you and your family joined church and your children were younger, they accepted going to church. Your children going to church was a norm at one time. Then as your children got older into the adolescent and teen years, they started questioning going to church possibly saying that it was not for them.

When I was about 4-years-old I observed my neighbors going to church. My father nor grandmother did not attend. I asked to go with my neighbors, because I was curious. I had already been trying to read my Bible and knew about God, but I could not figure out what was so important about church. After I went the first time I loved it. I did not realize it was a Methodist Church, I just knew it was church.

1. This Church

Possibly your children feel that they do not fit in at this particular church. Could there be a disconnect with with pastor, leaders, or other children at the church? Some pastors may emphasize they are more concerned with the person being saved and that each individual can choose the church he or she wants to attend.

2. Boring

Are Your children saying that church is boring? I recall one of my children stating, “Church is so boring, I do not understand what that man is talking about?” According to a survey from the
Barna Group at Barna.org. 31% of teens stated that church was boring. They further added that 24% felt church was irrelevant to their careers. So when teenagers and young adults start working, does church take a back seat for them? Do they arrive at church halfway through the program on purpose, because they just do not want to be there? This could also apply to adults. I have observed several adults coming into our church service habitually late.

3. Belonging

Do your children feel as though they belong in your church? Sometimes children may feel as though they are not apart of the church even though they attend it, according to ministrytodaymag.com.
When you think about it, everyone wants to feel as though they are apart of something, including children. I recall as a child going to the Amusement Park with my church. This was an event that I will never forget.

4. Invitation

Children love their peer group. Have your children ever invited a friend to church? Sometimes just having their friend there can make all the difference. Now if their friends go with them to sporting events, skating, or the arcades, why not allow them to invite a friend to church? I recall many children living in my neighborhood when I grew up. Because I loved church, I wanted all my friends to come and enjoy it as well. It never occurred to me that there were those that did not like church. I later became Sunday School Secretary and Church Secretary. This now became a very big learning experience, because my pastor at the time was very meticulous and taught me a lot about bookkeeping and the importance of it.

5. Extra-Curricular Activities

I talked with a group of children and they expressed that they had so many extra-curricular activities throughout the week that they just wanted to sleep in on the weekends because they were so tired.

6. Soccer Games or Other Games

There was a time that Sunday was for going to church, but have you observed that some of the soccer games or other athletic events are now on Sunday?

7. Family

Your church may be a good fit for you, but is it a good fit for your entire family? Do your children feel that they have a part in the church or are they just their? Do they realize the importance of attending church?

8. Length of Service

I have heard children complain about the length of the service. I know I also have heard adults state that when they were children going to church, the service might last about all day, 5-6 hours.
Times have changed. People's attention span is not necessarily that long. Even adults now do not want to sit in church all day. Everyone seemingly has their own preferences.

9. Fun

Is everyone always serious at church? Children want to have fun. They need to know that church can be fun while learning about Jesus. Does your face always have a stern look? Do you smile and even sometimes share a joke to create laughter. Do your children have fun activities at church?

So do your kids hate church? Are they actively involved in your church? Do they even want to be there?

Photo Caption: Pixabay, CCO Public Domain

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  1. We struggled with this a long time...especially with my oldest. My solution was finally giving them a choice...they could go to regular church or Wednesday night. My oldest and youngest chose Wednesday night, and my middle kiddo, who's a little more of an introvert, choose Sunday. I still get some flack from them about it but not as much and they seem to be happier abou ti...they are getting community and instruction, so I don't feel like which day they go is as important.

  2. Thanks, Betty! This gives good food for thought and reasons to consider.

    1. Your welcome Carlie. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. I have heard of kids not liking church, but I have never had this issue with any of my kids and they are still active in our church today, as college kids. I love my church and my kids love it too. The programs for youth in our church are excellent. Anyway, thoughtful post. :)

  4. So far our daughter is a willing church goer. We did have a bit of an uphill battle getting her to give youth group a try, but she was ready for that in her own time. I think the family narrative on church attendance is the most important thing. When everyone goes and talks about it after, how could you let yourself miss out?

  5. So far i daughter loves going to the church..But these thoughts are definitely something to ponder on..


    1. Menaka that is great your daughter loves church and a blessing.

  6. Thanks for sharing with us at Love to Learn. Pinned.

  7. We are not Christian and church is not part of our experience. However, I still found several take aways in your post. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Dr. Elise I am saved and believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am so glad you were able to get something from the article.