What is Funeral Etiquette? . . . 10 Important Things

I attended a funeral of a close friend. I discovered that she was doing the eulogy of her son's funeral. That was the first time I saw that. She also did a great job. So many times, I  assumed that the minister would do it.

Memorial Service

Wikipedia. Org defines eulogy as "as a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing."

Now for a long time I thought that only ministers did the eulogy at a home going ceremony. I discovered that is not always the case. Others are giving eulogy speeches.

1. Don't fight at a funeral.

This is just the wrong thing to do. When you fight, what type of example are you setting for your children? Tempers and emotions may be extremely sensitive at this time. This should be a time to not think about yourself, but to think about the family of the deceased. I recall as I drove past a funeral home, there were several police cars there and family members were arguing.

2. Don't play inappropriate music for the funeral

Music can be played during family hour or during the viewing at the funeral home. I went to a funeral where they were playing a rhythm and blues song that was talking about "bumping and grinding and making love. " This was quite inappropriate. There were small children there too. Maybe the deceased loved that song, but the funeral was not the appropriate place to play it, especially with small children present. I have heard many rhythm and blues songs that would have been much more appropriate.

3. Don't say anything, if you cannot think of something positive to say.

4. Do bring laughter to the family.

Laughter is so important during this time. In the article 

DoYou Know What Laughter Can Do?

I emphasize how laughter helps you. The family is already grieving, so laughter can just help ease the grieving process. During remarks try to think of good times that you had with the deceased individual and share this. Do make positive and truthful remarks about the deceased.

5. Do Give a Hug

Sometimes you may not have the words to comfort your love one, but do give a hug. A hug says it all. I talk about the importance of hugging in the article:

DoYou Know the Awesome Rewards of Hugging?

 6.  Do Think Clearly

Do think of ways that you can help the family during this time. Usually immediate family members may not be thinking clearly. If this is the first loved one that they have lost, they may be at a lost as to what should be done. Usually the funeral homes are fairly helpful when planning the funeral.

7. Do Make an Offer

Do offer to help with a collage (pictures) of family members. This may be on display before the funeral. Also, CD's can be made to play during the family hour. This can be quite comforting and reassuring to view the pictures of family members and friends. If you have technical skills that might be helpful, offer them to the family.

I recall when my mother-in-law passed away. I assisted my brother-in-law with editing the pictures for the CD. We are a large family. There were many pictures, some of which I did not even know who the family members were, but that they were in the family. During the funeral many of the members could point out and tell me who that family member was.

8. Do View the Body

Do go by the funeral home to view the body, especially if you will not be able to attend the funeral. Plan to attend the family hour. This is a time to console the family. This is a time to let them know that they are not alone. Sometimes you do not have to say anything, maybe give them a hug as I mentioned earlier.  Also,  a smile definitely may help.   Let them know that you are there for them. Your kind words can mean so much to them.

9. Do write a poem, If you are good at doing that.

10. Do Show Respect

Do be respectful of others and offer money to the family. There is no need for rudeness or disrespect. Funerals are expensive. All families may not have insurance for the cost of the burial.

Note:

There was a time that black clothing was always worn to a funeral. Now I have seen different colors and several times "all white." The white to represent the deceased home-going to the Lord. In fact I recall a funeral where all the immediate family wore all white. It was a lovely site to see.

Photo Caption:

Pixabay, CCO Creative Commons 

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