Before
your children are born you possibly have unrealistic ideas of what it
means to be a parent. You are possibly envisioning theses beautiful
children that can do no wrong.
After
your children are born and the reality of parenting sets in. You may
be open to all the parenting advice that you can get, because there
is the reality that even though you love your children, you had no
idea that it would be like this.
1.
Good
May
I take you back just a little? Do you remember when your first baby
was born? That moment in the hospital after giving birth can be a
joyous occasion. Possibly even after you bring the baby home, your
baby just takes a bottle and then goes right back to sleep. After a
couple of months you are probably thinking, “I can hardly wait
until my baby starts talking.”
It
is good when you have family such as mother and mother-in-law to give
you their expertise help from their own experiences of being a
mother.
2.
Chores:
I always felt chores were good to help give children responsibility. Also, this gives them practice regarding things that need to be done around the house. I did not expect their chores to be perfect, but I did expect them to be done. Also, remember a chore should be something that your child can accomplish for their age bracket. It may range from washing dishes, emptying the trash, or just dusting the furniture. I remember as a child I loved to dust and I loved the smell of the furniture polish. I also loved the way the furniture shined afterwards. It gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
I always felt chores were good to help give children responsibility. Also, this gives them practice regarding things that need to be done around the house. I did not expect their chores to be perfect, but I did expect them to be done. Also, remember a chore should be something that your child can accomplish for their age bracket. It may range from washing dishes, emptying the trash, or just dusting the furniture. I remember as a child I loved to dust and I loved the smell of the furniture polish. I also loved the way the furniture shined afterwards. It gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
3.Bad
Now
this is not really bad unless you perceive it as that. I like to
think of it as stages of the baby growing up. You may have never
considered that your baby will be cranky during teething time. You
may have never considered you nor your husband would get very little
sleep when your baby is colicky. You may have never known that
two-year-old would throw temper tantrums. Possibly you assumed your
toddler would do everything that you asked. It never occurred to you
that toddlers have minds of their own. Previously when
your baby was born, you could not wait for your baby to talk, now you
possibly feel guilty because you are thinking,” I do not want to
hear the word “mama” or “mommy” any time soon because my ears
need a rest.
Then
there was the time after we came home from church. My husband went
to work. I was so sleepy I could not keep my eyes open. My 7 month
old had on her new church dress. I figured I will go into the
bedroom and close the door with her in there with me. I needed a nap very much. Since I knew
she was a curious child that started actually walking at 8 months. I
thought, “What can she get into?” So I fell asleep and when I
woke up, my 7 month old had climbed the 6 handles on my tall dresser.
She could not get back down so she was doing her jobber-jabber.
She had opened my liquid makeup and poured it all over her beautiful
dress and was smiling at me as if to say, “Look mommy.” I could
not be mad at her, after all God kept her safe from any harm.
4.
Your Baby
You
may feel bad when you have fed your baby, changed your baby's diaper,
and to no avail your baby is continually crying for too long a period
of time. After taking your baby to the doctor you discover the
crying was for a reason, because the baby has an ear infection. Your
baby could not talk, but instead cried as loud as (he or she could)
to let you know something was not right. Do not beat yourself up
about this, because you did make it to the doctor in time. Remember
parenting is trial and error whether you like it or not.
5.
Love
Can
you be too loving to your child? I think not. Your children
will receive enough negativity in the world. I believe that more
praise will truly build your child’s self-confidence and definitely
help him or her to feel good about their selves in
general.
6.
Ugly
Although
this is not ugly at the time it may feel quite uncomfortable when you
need to apply tough love as your child get's older. If you have
been an enabler and you have not allowed your child to develop to
become a productive part of society, you may feel guilty or sad about
the outcome. Tough love is a choice. A question I have often asked
myself is, “If this were not my child, would I allow this type of
behavior?” Sometimes, we need to detach ourselves from the
situation.
As
I watched the TV program Supernanny, I was amazed at how this woman
goes around and helps families where the children are basically
taking over the house and running the lives of not one parent, but
both parents. Basically you do not have to be mean to get your point
across to your toddlers, children or teens. You do however, need to
be persistent. You do, however, need to be on the same page with
your husband regarding your children. No you and your husband may
not agree, but there needs to be a common ground.
7.
Habits
I
recall my one daughter was born sucking her finger on the delivery
table. The doctor looked at me and told me, “She has probably been
doing that while you carried her in the womb.” When we went home,
my husband was adamant about pulling her finger out of her mouth. He
did not want her sucking her thumb, he was afraid she would
eventually have buck teeth. I, however, disagreed and I knew very
little about babies, but I know everyone has some type of habit, this
just happened to be hers. Needless to say, he allowed the thumb
sucking. She grew up with beautiful straight, white teeth. When she
was about 6 or 7 years old, she came home from school and told me the
children were teasing her and she wanted me to put hot sauce on her
thumb to help her stop sucking her finger. I did so. Needless to
say she was determine to stop and she did.
Parenting
is a stage in life. There will be some good days and some bad days,
but inevitably you still love your children, hopefully,
unconditionally.
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Caption: Commons, wikimedia.org.,
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2 comments:
Oh the stages of parenting! Mine are all grown, and that daily parenting is over, but you never really get done with it. Miss my babies! Thanks for linking up with us at the #WednesdayAIMLinkParty 29
Thank God that He is there for us to lean on and depend on in all the challenges of parenting!
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