Anointedtoday.blogspot.com: 9 Inspiring Parenting Tips

Just For You:

Although parenting does not come with a manual, sometimes as parents you may be fearful that your children will make the same mistakes that you did.

Parenting Skills

You don't have to tell your children every detail. Maybe you feel that you do not have good parenting skills, but it may be a good idea to share some of your mistakes with your children.

1. Image

What type of image are you portraying? Are your children seeing a perfect mom who has never made any mistakes while growing up? If so, they may be thinking that you don't understand them. Unfortunately, they do not know that you have “been there and done that.”

2. Listening

How are your listening skills? Good listening skills are ways to help your children. Have you ever really just sat and listen to your children talk? Try just listening to them talk, rather than giving them advice. Encourage conversation. If they know you are truly listening, they will have no problem talking. You will probably find out many of the inner things that are going on with them. Instead of asking how their day was, ask them, “What was the best part of the day today for you?” “What made that special?”

Possibly you are a parent that works first shift and you are not able to attend your children’s school programs or field trips. You may not have a choice, because you have to work to put food on the table. There are alternatives.

3. Vacation Days

Do you have vacation days? This would be a good time to use that vacation day to support your children by going to their school program. You cannot imagine how much that means to them to see your face in the audience. Remember once your children are adults you can never go back to this particular day.

I recall talking to a teacher that shared only 2 parents showed up for an event given for the children. Now that is totally unacceptable. If you are not able to make it, possibly ask a relative, such as a sister, cousin, uncle, or brother to attend. Try making your children a priority.

4. Bad

Now this is not really bad unless you perceive it as that. I like to think of it as stages of the baby growing up. You may have never considered that your baby will be cranky during teething time. You may have never considered you nor your husband would get very little sleep when your baby is colicky. You may have never known that two-year-old would throw temper tantrums. Possibly you assumed your toddler would do everything that you asked. It never occurred to you that this little person has a mind of (his/her) own. Previously when your baby was born, you could not wait for your baby to talk, now you possibly feel guilty because you are thinking,” I do not want to hear the word “mama” or “mommy” any time soon because my ears need a rest.

You may feel bad when you have fed your baby, changed your baby's diaper, and to no avail your baby is continually crying for too long a period of time. After taking your baby to the doctor you discover the crying was for a reason, because the baby has an ear infection. Your baby could not talk, but instead cried as loud as (he or she could) to let you know something was not right. Do not beat yourself up about this, because you did make it to the doctor in time. Remember parenting is trial and error whether you like it or not.

5. Ugly

Although this is not ugly at the time it may feel quite uncomfortable when you need to apply tough love as your child get's older. If you have been an enabler and you have not allowed your child to develop to become a productive part of society, you may feel guilty or sad about the outcome. Tough love is a choice. A question I have often asked myself is, “If this were not my child, would I allow this type of behavior?” Sometimes, we need to detach ourselves from the situation.

As I watched the TV program Supernanny, I was amazed at how this woman goes around and helps families where the children are basically taking over the house and running the lives of not one parent, but both parents. Basically you do not have to be mean to get your point across to your toddlers, children, or teens. You do however, need to be persistent. You do, however, need to be on the same page with your husband regarding your children. No you and your husband may not agree, but there needs to be a common ground.

6. Everyone Makes Mistakes

Sharing your mistakes with your children shows your vulnerability and that you are human. It let's them know you are not perfect. Let your children know that everyone makes mistake. Even with all of our perfection, expertise, and training, there is no perfect one, but Jesus.

Share moments as a learning experience. I recall sharing with my children that I was told when the street light came on in the evening that was the time I needed to leave my next door neighbors house and come home. I shared there were several times I knew I should go home, but I was having so much fun with my friends. I was wrong. My father would always explain to me in a mild manner why I was being disciplined and what I did was wrong. Sometimes I would just start crying when he talked to me, because I felt that I let him down by not following his instructions.

I recall my one daughter was born sucking her finger on the delivery table. The doctor looked at me and told me, “She has probably been doing that while you carried her in the womb.” When we went home, my husband was adamant about pulling her finger out of her mouth. He did not want her sucking her thumb, he was afraid she would eventually have buck teeth. I, however, disagreed and I knew very little about babies, but I know everyone has some type of habit, this just happened to be her's. Needless to say, he allowed the thumb sucking. She grew up with beautiful straight, white teeth. When she was about 6 or 7 years old, she came home from school and told me the children were teasing her and she wanted me to put hot sauce on her thumb to help her stop sucking her finger. I did so. Needless to say she was determine to stop and she did it on her own.

Parenting is a stage in life. There will be some good days and some bad days, but inevitably you still love your children, hopefully, unconditionally.

7. Positive Parents

According to Rebecca at Positive Strategies for better Behaved Kids, when our needs to be seen, heard, understood, loved, and connected are met, we all do better. She further talks about speaking their language with physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. Those that are are already doing this are well ahead in this scenario. For those that have not been doing this, it is not too late too start.

8. Blaming Yourself

I emphasize the importance of not beating yourself up after you have changed your baby, fed your baby, and your baby is still crying; Finally you take your baby to the doctor to find out the baby has an ear infection. If you are a first time parent, you would not have had an idea the baby had an ear infection, because parenting is trial and error. The good thing is that your baby received medical attention in time. I also recall another instance when a teacher was upset with herself because it was discovered her child had a learning disability. She felt as a teacher she should have saw this. I explained to her, “You are an excellent teacher, but sometimes we are to close to the problem that we have blinders on.” The important thing is that it was discovered and the issue was addressed. Remember parenting is a learning experience. So relax, learn, and have fun while doing it.

9. Children receiving gifts

Has your child ever brought something home such as a gift or money and said a friend gave it to them? You should be concerned. I recall a child giving another child a pair of sunglasses. He stated he no longer wanted them and wanted to do something nice by giving the sunglasses away. He also told his mother a different story. He told his mother he lost the sunglasses. That was a nice gesture to give the sunglasses away, but the lying about the glasses was unacceptable. Now this is a time for discussion, because he lied to his mother, in order to do what he wanted to do. In addition, sometimes, children feel they need to buy the affection of others, because they want to fit in.

What about money? I recall a young child giving another $5.00. The child states he can always get more money and that his mother will just give it to him. Was he stealing this money? Was he giving his lunch money away? This is another good time for discussion with your child and contacting the parent of the other child. Express to your children, it is not wise to take money from others unless both parents are aware of what is happening. There are so many ways that children can get caught up in wrong situations at the wrong time. The money could have been stolen, the boy could have lied and said he did not take it, but the other child took it. What tips do you have to help children?

Source:

Positive Strategies for Better Behaved Kids

Photo Captions:

Wikimedia.org., Creative Commons, Attribution-Shared Aliked 3.0 Unported licensed. Attribution: I, Greg Williams

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