Saturday, September 26, 2015
How Do You Teach Your Children Respect?
Do You have a defiant child? Have you considered that respect involves making a choice of how you allow others to treat you, including your children? Many may demand respect, but do they give it?
Everyone may want to be respected, but how many of us know how to get it? There are ways to deal with a disrespectful child.
Are you consistent with your parenting? This is very important. You can be consistent and still be a loving parent. According to Empowering Parents.com if your child is constantly displaying respectful behavior, you can step in at any time and begin setting clear limits. I definitely agree with this. I mentioned one other time when my children were younger. We were at a Pizza Restaurant waiting for our order and there was an incident. A little boy that appeared to be about 4 or 5-years-old jumped on top of the table and started pointing his fingers at both parents as he talked. We were not close enough to hear the conversation, but the parents were so ashamed they did not stay, but took the pizza as a take out order. As I watched the parents, they said nothing but just sat and let the boy display this disrespectful behavior. My children looked at me and said, “Aren't you glad we do not act like that?” My response was, “You will not act like that.”
What You Allow
Do you allow your children to be disrespectful to you? If you do not stop it, it will continue even into their adulthood. Are you aware of what disrespectful behavior is? Disrespectful behavior may include, cursing, talking back, rolling their eyes, demanding, yelling, tone of voice, and I am sure there are several more that may come to your mind. Someone once asked me, “If you would not allow another child or person to mistreat you and show lack of respect, why would you allow your child to do that?” That is a good question too. Parents you need to “step up to the plate” and not allow your child to disrespect you.
I recall listening to Donald Trump make the statement, “No one came to my defense when they were talking about my hair.” I immediately thought, “I have heard children say similar things.” I immediately thought that it sounded like a childish statement, something that a child would say. We can give our child respect by not getting caught up in their childish statements they may make, but rather speak and set clear lines as to what is and what is not acceptable behavior.
In my article Is Your Child Disprectful? I talk about how children need to be held accountable for their actions which include no name calling, cursing, or blaming others. Everyone gets frustrated so they need to learn how to handle those frustrations. They need to know that if they are going to try you, then you are going to follow through on the consequences. They need to be told when their behavior is not acceptable. Now I know that old saying is true when a parent might say, “It hurts me more than it hurts you.” Because as parents you want the best for your children and hate to chastise them, but sometimes it is just necessary. It is important to deal with this when they are children, because when they become adults it may become worse.
Photo Caption: Commons, Wikimedia.org., by Denelson83
Do Your Kids Respect You? 9 Ways to change their attitudes, by Janet Lehman, MSW
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