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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Setting Boundaries For Your Children

1. Yes and No

A parent needs to know when to say yes and when to say no to a child. No child wants to have their own way all the time. Life is not about getting your own way all the time. Life will have it’s ups and down. The reality is in life there must be discipline, self-control, and boundaries. Otherwise people would be spiraling out of control. There are times when you will need to say no. Yes, their may be times children will not understand, even though you may attempt to explain it, but this is where your wisdom and knowledge comes in.

2. Trouble

Not setting and staying within boundaries can result in trouble. When your children play outside, you should set boundaries, especially for smaller children. They should not be allowed to roam the neighborhood. If you tell them to play in front of the house and stay in their yard. That means exactly that. They should not be next door or several doors down the street. Again, setting boundaries for your child.

3. Healthy Boundaries

You want to set healthy boundaries for your child. Explain that the moral values you have taught them are to be kept. Explain to them there is nothing wrong with being who you are. You do not have to change your morals in order to fit in with a certain peer group. Emotional boundaries are necessary for your child. Talk to them about discerning the spirits of others. Have you ever heard some children say, “This is my best friend.” Sometimes you may hear them tell you everyone is their best friend, but we know that is not true. As parents we may see some of their friends as users, manipulators, and possibly much more. Talking to your children about behaviors are important so that they can discern and learn to set healthy boundaries for themselves.

4. Healthy Relationships

We must start early with our children in setting boundaries so they will hopefully not end up in unhealthy relationships, because they ignored boundaries and allow someone else to invade their values or who they are. How many times have you seen children grow up only to end up in an abusive relationship, a relationship where the husband is not there emotionally, a relationship where their children are spiraling out of control, a relationship where they are self-medicating with drugs and alcohol? Remember what works with one child may not necessarily work with another. Each child needs their own boundaries.

Below is a video about Teaching your kids limits by Dr. Lynne Kenney






Resources:

http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Parenting/Parenting08_Boundaries.html

http://lifeesteem.org/wellness/wellness_boundaries.html

http://www.familymatters.tv/level_4/parenting/boundaries.htm

What are your thoughts on this. Do you set boundaries for your children?

Please feel free to comment? I would love to hear your opinion.

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