9 Questions You Should Ask Before Your Marriage

Are you contemplating marriage? There are a few questions you might want to ask your future spouse before marriage. How many times have people gone into marriage with blinders on?

 

                                                                 Marriage Tips

Seeking marriage advice from your pastor, counselor, and parent is not a bad idea, because they are usually in most cases experienced and wiser. You can learn from others mistakes and hardships.

1. Intentions

When that man is pursuing you and you have been dating for awhile, you may want to ask this man, directly, “What are your intentions?” Why? The reason is that both of you may not be on the same page. Possibly he or she has no intentions of marrying you. This is one of the questions that I asked my husband before marriage. You should not assume that he or she wants to get married. There are women that prefer not to be married and that is definitely their choice. There are many self-sufficient women and men that lead a fulfilling life without marriage.

2. Children

This should be a discussion for both of you. Some come from large families and subsequently, may want to have a large family. Whereas maybe you only want 2 children or none at all.

3. Financial and Religious Views

That old adage that “opposites attract” may be true. Possibly you are a saver and your fiance' is a spender. This is something that you both will have to deal with. You want to have some balance in your life. Does he or she spend their paycheck immediately without tithing or saving 10%? Does he or she love God or even believe in God? One question I asked my spouse before marriage, “Are you saved?”

4. Reason

Are both of your getting married for the right reason? Some women dream of the fantasy of a big marriage with them dressed in white, many bridesmaids, and a lavish honeymoon. Some even spend thousands of dollars on marriage only to divorce within several years. Are you getting married because of all the hype about marriage? Are you considering the bad times that may occur as well as the good time. What if after marriage he or she becomes seriously ill? Are you in love enough to stick it out with your partner or will you leave when things get rough?

5. Change

Are you getting married with the hopes of changing your spouse? Sometimes, what you see is what you get. Only your spouse can change themselves not you. Hopefully, you will bring out the best in each other.

6. Chemistry

Yes get married because you love the person. Chemistry is important in marriage. It is good to be attracted to one another. Do not just marry basically for looks, because looks can change in time. Remember not everyone will appear the same. There may be the occurrence of weight gain, gray hairs, bags under the eyes, and I am sure you can probably add to this list. These are just a few questions to ask before marriage.

7. Premarital Counseling

Do not dismiss it before you have tried it. Maybe you have been married more than once and feel you don't need premarital counseling. That may be all the reason to take the counseling classes. Remember you never get too old to learn.

Premarital counseling/classes will give you tools and help you to gain insight regarding problems or situations that you and your fiancé' may encounter in the future. Many times you might say, "I will never do this or I would do thus and so." The reality is that you really don't know until you are in that actual situation.

There are ministers that are willing to offer you the Christian counseling services free, especially when you are a member of that church. The Minister/counselor may bring to your attention subjects regarding finances. Will you have joint accounts because you have now come together as one? How will you discipline your children when they are born? How many children would you like to have? What holidays will you visit the relatives? Remember when you marry each other, you marry each others families. You now have mother-in-laws, father-in-laws, sister-in-laws, and sometimes extended families.

8. Unequally Yoked

Know The Person and Do Not Be Unequally Yoked 2 Cor. 6:14 

No matter how long you are with a person or married to a person you will never know all there is to know about them, that is why it is important to embrace the benefits of premarital counseling. Time allows you to learn some things about a person, but eventually the real person shows up.

If you are a Christian and saved you want your fiancé' to be saved also, before marriage. So this is something that should be discussed early. Now there are situations someone might say, "I am already married." "I was saved and a Christian, but he/she was not." In that case the Bible states, "Let no man separate that which God has joined together." Matthew 19:6. These are not my words, but God's words. I am talking about those that knowingly enter a relationship knowing the other is not of the same faith.

When people first meet they are often on their best behavior, but that does not last forever. Someway, somehow the real person will show up. Many times you will hide the real you, because you don't want to scare your fiancé off. Also, in the beginning everything is so new and fresh. It is almost like being in another world.

9. Who will clean the House?

It is no longer traditional that just the woman clean the house, because many women are working long hours just like men. Maybe the woman makes more than her fiancé, does that mean that she controls all the money? These are just a few of the issues that may need to be considered, discussed, and addressed.

You may find that you think differently than your fiancé'. Just because you are getting married does not mean you will agree on everything. Remember you were raised by different parents. Hopefully, you both will have the same main core values.

What other questions would you want to ask before marriage?

Photo Caption:

Pixabay,  CCO Creative Commons 

More From this Author:

8 Amazing Bite SizeSnacks for Toddlers

Health Trivia. . .How Much Do You Know?

Black Tea VersusGreen Tea

Will you share this article with a friend?

Guest Blogging:

Yes I am accepting guest bloggers. Would you like to guest blog at 

http://anointedtoday.blogspot.com?

Just contact me at anointedtoday@comcast.net and let me know. Guest Blogging is another avenue for great exposure to your blog. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

or Visit My Store at

Zazzle.comAnointedtoday