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You to all of you that are working on the front-line during this Covid-19
mother is not necessarily the biological mother. Some mothers do not
have that maternal instinct. A mother could be an aunt, cousin,
grandmother, foster parent, stepmother or even an adoptive parent. I
marveled as I watched 60 minutes one day. There was a woman that
had no children of her own. Some of the children on this show had
been abused, abandoned or lost both parents. It was amazing as she
told her story. These children had their own schools and walked
several miles to their school. This woman was the mother to nearly
100 Tanzanian children, even though she had no biological children.
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My Aunt Mary
was basically raised by my father and grandmother. Although living in
a Foster Home briefly, my father was granted custody of me and I live
with him and my grandmother in my early years of life. I remember we
had a roomer named John and a housekeeper named Adelia. In my
later years, teen years, I lived with my Uncle Bill, Aunt Mary, and
grandmother. When I moved with them I immediately looked for a
church which I found within walking distance down the street. I would
go faithfully every week. I started reading at age 3 and always
wanted to know more about God. I prayed a lot and loved church even
though my family did not go, even when I lived with my father, he
would not go, but I was allowed to go with my neighbors.
recall my grandmother was very stern and outspoken. A lot like my
biological mother. Possibly that is why my mother and her never
seemed to get along well. They always argued. My father who was
soften spoken I now see he was always in the middle. I believe my
grandmother felt she always needed to speak up or could not hold her
peace for some reason. I recalled my mother was upset with my
father and started cursing. My father started stuttering really bad
and tried to discourage her emphasizing that she was talking in front
of a child. My mother did not care. She continued to rant and
there was someone in your life that was as close to a mother as you
could see even though she was not your biological mother. What are
the memories that you have of that person? Well I can name a person
that was a mother to me and that was my awesome; Aunt Mary.
2.More About My Aunt Mary
recall that my grandmother left my father and moved with my Aunt Mary
and Uncle Bill. I would visit Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill every summer
eventually I lived with them. My grandmother died. I recalled
Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary having lots of parties at the house. I just
assumed that was how life was “parties.” I loved the music and
loved to dance. In fact I remember going to a neighbors birthday
party. I assumed everyone could dance just because I did. When I
discovered, my friend could not dance, I was furious and left the
party. I told him I never wanted to see him again. Mind you this
was a birthday party for him. Well his aunt and my aunt were
friends. She came and talked to my aunt. My aunt then did not yell
or condemn me but sat me down and said, “ You know you really hurt
XXXX; You know that was not right.” I immediately felt really
bad and just wanted to cry.
just did not realize there were people that could not dance. I did,
however, vowed when I was an adult if I ever saw him again I would
apologize. Well God does work in mysterious ways. I eventually saw
him. Guess where? He was visiting at my church with a relative.
I did apologize to him. I also talked to his sister after seeing him
again. She was a good friend of mine and she shared she could not
dance either. I just could not imagine and did not see that at the time.
remember going fishing with My Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill at a very
young age. They would leave at 5 am in the morning. I loved to
fish. I was afraid of worms so they had to bait the hook for me.
One day my Aunt told me if you want to continue to go fishing you
need to bait your own hook. I learned to bait the hook very
quickly. I did not want them going fishing without me.
recall loving to dress up in Aunt Mary’s old clothes and heels.
She had lots of perfumes which I loved to drench myself with. I
would makeup my face with her makeup. I was pretending to be
grownup. I would then walk and style (like I was in a fashion show) before her to look at me.
Aunt Mary -Housekeeper
Uncle Bill eventually died. Before he died there were some dark days
where my Aunt and Uncle would get drunk and fight. My aunt could
out curse any man. I was always fearful my uncle would kill her.
Also, she always made it clear she would not allow a man to put his
hands on her. So when they were drinking the fights were on. Now
when they were not drinking which was through the week they were
sweet as pie. My uncle worked at GM and it was within walking
distance. When they were sober I would reenact how they acted when
they fought. They would laugh about it. I also would sing to
distract them, because I loved to see them happy together. I can add that My Aunt Mary eventually was saved during my teen years and she joined the church that I had attended since I moved with her Mt. Calvary Baptist Church. I was so happy.
Aunt Mary was a housekeeper after my uncle’s death. Now it was
just the two of us. I remember she worked for the CEO of a large
company. I recall him going on vacation and wanting my Aunt and
myself to come with him and his family to Hawaii. He was willing to
hire me a tutor since it was during the school year. I really
wanted to go to Hawaii, but my Aunt did not want to travel. I tried
my best to talk her into going. She would not agree. So what
happened was he and his family went to Hawaii and my Aunt and I
stayed at his very huge house and took care of his dog. A cab would
pick me up everyday after school to take me there. Eventually my
Aunt had several roomers that lived with us. She had a very large
house with 5 bedrooms. I never knew why they lived with us, but now
that I am older, I imagine she did it to make ends meet. One of her
roomers I remember well. She was just out of jail and was young
around 19 or 20. She cooked dinner for us one day. I hated
dressing, but the dressing she made was very good. I will never
Aunt Mary taught me to crochet. I thought this was just
fascinating. She was so good. She would crochet Swans and put them
in starch. I was fascinated how they appeared like actual white
swans sitting up after they were starched.
Aunt Mary taught me the importance of housework. I learned how to
sweep the porch, the house, and dust the furniture. It reminded me
of when my grandmother used to sweep the porch and even swept our
small yard. I loved to dust because we had this special polish that
smelled so good.
I did not realize it then, I now know the importance of breakfast.
On Sunday’s she would cook a huge breakfast, chicken and gravy and
biscuits. Her biscuits were from scratch too and not from the can.
She told me she was from a large family of 7 and she did not know
how to cook just a little.
Cooking and baking
the holidays she would cook several cakes and pies. I loved all of
this. She used to make cinnamon rolls on a sheet. They were better
than any Cinabon, because she made everything from scratch.
recall always being afraid to ride the elevator when I was younger.
My Aunt Mary would always pick me up.
remember Aunt Mary taking me to the dentist. I had a mouth full of
cavities. In fact about 4 cavities. I hated going to the dentist
for fillings, because it was very painful. I would cry during the
entire process. I see why people hate to go to the dentist. To make matters worse my aunt would walk me across
this railroad track to get to his office. It was a short cut. The
problem was that it was across a lake. I was terrified of heights
and I was so small I imagined myself falling in the water knowing
that I could not swim.
recall when I received my first grant for college. My Aunt took me
on a shopping spree. I could pick out any and as many clothes as I
needed. Believe me I shopped too. I loved to shop then even
though shopping now is not one of my favorite things to do.
remember when I married and my husband and I got our first house. My
Aunt Mary bought us a washer and dryer. I was so thankful because
when we previously lived in an apartment we would have to go to the
laundromat. There were times when our car was down I would have to
catch a cab to the laundromat.
those were a few things I remember about my Aunt Mary. What about
you? What do you remember about your mother?
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