Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Do You Have Great Expectations?
When it comes to your children, do you have great expectations? Possibly your expectations are low.
What do you expect of your children?
Although you want to maintain balance, hopefully you have great expectations for your children. More importantly you should let your children know of your expectations and remember to be realistic.
I recently was at the dollar store. This child that looked to be about 4 or 5-years-old started picking up various items asking her mommy to purchase them. The child then ran through the store and the mother started calling out her name to come back. The woman in front of me turned and said to me, “I would never allow my children to act like that in the store.” I responded, “A new generation.” Now possibly could this mother have given that child some expectations that she expected of her before going to the store? I recall when in the store with my children and they asked for certain items I responded, “We do not have the money?” My one child then said, “Just write out one of those paper things that you write out.” She was referring to my checkbook. It was then I realized I needed to sit my children down and have a conversation about my expectations and also explain to them about the checkbook.
Kimanzi Constable at Huffingtonpost.com talks about cutting your children some slack when they come home from school in a bad mood. I agree. You may hate to see your children upset or grumpy, but every day is not always a good day for anyone. I recall watching a movie recently and this young boy was having a bad day so he wished his family would have a bad day so they could feel what it feels like. At the end of the movie the entire family came together and found the good of the events that had occurred. In other words, they found solutions to their problems that was causing them to have a bad day. As parents you can take the experience of your child coming home grumpy as a time to sympathize with your children, lend a listening ear, or even talk to them about alternatives.
What are your expectations with how your children handle money? Are your expectations realistic? Have you shown your children values of money with your actions? Have they been given an allowance and you observed how they handle their allowance money? I recall when my niece came to live with me at age 7. We were in the grocery store. I had given my children including my niece their allowance. They had picked out items to purchase with their allowance. As each of them paid for their items my niece paused. I asked, “What is wrong?” She then shared, “I do not know how much to give the cashier.” I had made an assumption that she knew how to pay for items. The reality was that she did not know the difference between a penny, a nickel, dime, or a dollar. So my children and I worked with her slowly helping her learn about identifying and counting coins.
I recall living with my aunt and uncle. Her and my uncle seemingly never wanted for anything, but I did not realize their mortgage was paid off. Their car was paid off. These are little things that can be taught to your children as they are growing up. It does not mean they will do this, but it does allow you to show them the importance about paying your debts. Proverbs 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. I remember my children telling me they thought we were rich. I asked them what made them think that. There response was that they got every thing they needed. I then sat them down and explained we were not rich but that many of their clothes I put in the lay away and paid for over time. I explained some of our clothes came from the goodwill. I explained that there was a reason we ate breakfast food. sometimes in the morning and the evening. Phillippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Your children's peer groups are very important to them. Although they love you, they love their peer group also. Again, you expect they will listen to you and make the right choices but that does not always happen. I recall being made to wear black and white oxfords to school. The reason I was told was because those shoes were better for your feet, even though I had no feet problems or concerns. The kids laughed and teased me. When I told my aunt she dyed them brown. I tried to tell her that did not make any difference they still laughed. So my friends and I as we walked to school and I cried they responded this way, “Bring another pair of shoes with you and we will switch them at the corner.” That is what we did. I loved my friends for that. Now I did not follow what my aunt told me to do, but that did not make it okay to be disobedient. I just used that example to show how peer groups can be important to children.
What are your expectations for your children? Are they realistic expectations? Remember you were a child and a teenager once also. How did you feel?
Photo Caption: Wikimedia commons,Mladenrt612, Creative Commons license.
8 UnrealisticExpectations Parent Have for Their Kids, Kimanzi Constable
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