When it comes to
your children, do you have great expectations? Possibly your
expectations are low.
What do you expect
of your children?
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| exceeding expectations |
Although you want to
maintain balance, hopefully you have great expectations for your
children. More importantly you should let your children know of your
expectations and remember to be realistic.
I recently was at
the dollar store. This child that looked to be about 4 or
5-years-old started picking up various items asking her mommy to
purchase them. The child then ran through the store and the mother
started calling out her name to come back. The woman in front of me
turned and said to me, “I would never allow my children to act like
that in the store.” I responded, “A new generation.” Now
possibly could this mother have given that child some expectations
that she expected of her before going to the store? I recall when
in the store with my children and they asked for certain items I
responded, “We do not have the money?” My one child then said,
“Just write out one of those paper things that you write out.”
She was referring to my checkbook. It was then I realized I needed
to sit my children down and have a conversation about my expectations
and also explain to them about the checkbook.
Good Mood
Kimanzi Constable at
Huffingtonpost.com talks about cutting your children some slack when
they come home from school in a bad mood. I agree. You may hate to
see your children upset or grumpy, but every day is not always a good
day for anyone. I recall watching a movie recently and this young
boy was having a bad day so he wished his family would have a bad day
so they could feel what it feels like. At the end of the movie the
entire family came together and found the good of the events that had
occurred. In other words, they found solutions to their problems
that was causing them to have a bad day. As parents you can take the
experience of your child coming home grumpy as a time to sympathize
with your children, lend a listening ear, or even talk to them about
alternatives.
Money
What are your
expectations with how your children handle money? Are your
expectations realistic? Have you shown your children values of money
with your actions? Have they been given an allowance and you
observed how they handle their allowance money? I recall when my
niece came to live with me at age 7. We were in the grocery store.
I had given my children including my niece their allowance. They had
picked out items to purchase with their allowance. As each of them
paid for their items my niece paused. I asked, “What is wrong?”
She then shared, “I do not know how much to give the cashier.” I
had made an assumption that she knew how to pay for items. The
reality was that she did not know the difference between a penny, a
nickel, dime, or a dollar. So my children and I worked with her
slowly helping her learn about identifying and counting coins.
I recall living with
my aunt and uncle. Her and my uncle seemingly never wanted for anything, but I
did not realize their mortgage was paid off. Their car was paid off.
These are little things that can be taught to your children as
they are growing up. It does not mean they will do this, but it does
allow you to show them the importance about paying your debts.
Proverbs 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is
servant to the lender. I remember my children telling me they
thought we were rich. I asked them what made them think that.
There response was that they got every thing they needed. I then sat
them down and explained we were not rich but that many of their
clothes I put in the lay away and paid for over time. I explained
some of our clothes came from the goodwill. I explained that there
was a reason we ate breakfast food. sometimes in the morning and
the evening. Phillippians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in
glory by Christ Jesus.
Peer Group
Your children's peer
groups are very important to them. Although they love you, they love
their peer group also. Again, you expect they will listen to you and
make the right choices but that does not always happen. I recall
being made to wear black and white oxfords to school. The reason I
was told was because those shoes were better for your feet, even
though I had no feet problems or concerns. The kids laughed and
teased me. When I told my aunt she dyed them brown. I tried to
tell her that did not make any difference they still laughed. So my
friends and I as we walked to school and I cried they responded
this way, “Bring another pair of shoes with you and we will switch
them at the corner.” That is what we did. I loved my friends for
that. Now I did not follow what my aunt told me to do, but that did
not make it okay to be disobedient. I just used that example to
show how peer groups can be important to children.
What are your
expectations for your children? Are they realistic expectations?
Remember you were a child and a teenager once also. How did you
feel?
Photo Caption:
Wikimedia commons,Mladenrt612, Creative
Commons Attribution-Share
Alike 3.0 Unported license.
Source:
Personal Experience
8 UnrealisticExpectations Parent Have for Their Kids, Kimanzi Constable
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