Kids Say the Darndest Things

Although kids say the darndest things, remember laughter is medicine to the bone. Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Don’t be so serious all of the time. Sometimes just take time to listen to kids conversation. They can be quite funny. Take time to listen and to laugh.

funny kids

1. Baby

Several parents were in the park with their children. One of the parents told another little 4-year-old girl, "Bye baby." Her 3-year-old son said the same to the 4-year-old girl, "Bye baby." The 4-year-old little girl looked at the 3-year-old boy and responded, "You are not old enough to call me baby." "She can call me baby, but you need to be older before you can call me baby."

2. Barbecue

The grandfather was barbecuing. It was not done yet. The father came to pick up his granddaughter. The granddaughter politely asked the grandfather, “Grandfather can you send me some barbecue?” “Just send it in the mail.”

3. Bible Study

The parent said aloud, “I do not feel like going to Bible Study.” The child replied, “ Then if you don't feel like going, don't go.” The parent replied, “ I will go because I don't want to miss a word that was meant just for me.”

4. Bumps

“I have bumps on my stomach, said one child to his mother. He raised his shirt and took a deep breath  showing her. She thought he was referring to his nipples, but then he touched his rib cage. His mother said, “Those are your rib bones." (out of the mouth of babes)

5. Directions

As the father was having trouble putting together an item for the house, the 5-year-old son came over and stated, “Maybe it would help if you looked at the picture.”

6. Dreams

The mother asked her daughter, “What did you dream about last night?” The 5-year-old daughter replied, “It is still going on, I just paused it.” Referring to the dream that is.

7. Fishing

The grandmother told her 5-year-old grandson that the grandfather was fishing. The grandson then said, Pray with me that grandpa will catch some big fish for the family." He then prayed," Dear God keep grandpa safe and let him bring home some fish for us to eat."

8. Gas

One 4-year-old kept passing gas. Finally the parent asked, “Do you think you might need to use the restroom?” She replied, “Yes.” So she went to the restroom and stayed there awhile. When she returned she stated, “I have some good news and I have some bad news.” “ I tried to booboo, but it was only gas.”

9. Introduction

This grandmother was at her 6-year-old granddaughter’s school. The teacher introduced the grandmother as the student’s grandmother. The student objected and said, “That is not my grandmother that is my Granny.”

10. Naps

One child complained, “Why do I have to take naps?” The mother explained that it was for her benefit since she was a toddler. The mother also added when you are in Kindergarten I will not require you to take a nap, because kindergartens don’t take naps

11 Obstacle Course?

Have you ever heard of a toddler saying, “ Follow me I will show you my obstacle course?”

12. President

A 5-year-old told his mother, “I want to become President of the United States so I can change the laws for you.”

13. Real Food

A child told his mother, “I am hungry.” His mother replied, “Would you like an apple?” The child responded, “Do you have any real food.?”

14. Sharing

One toddler told his mother, “Granny we will share you with our mother.”

Another child wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese's. The parent told him, “We do not have any money for that today.” The child asked, “You don’t pay your bills?”

15. Sickness

Another child said, “My daddy is sick, but he is not sick enough to die.

16. Stomach

One 4-year-old exclaimed, “ I’m hungry.” “ So that is why my stomach was growling.”

17. Sunday School

As a mother dropped her 4-year-old at church for Sunday School, the grandmother waited for her to bring in a change of clothing for the child after church. Apparently the grandmother was not moving fast enough. The 4-year-old stated, "Grandmother can we come on, they are missing me in Sunday School."

18. Spending the Night

The grandson told his grandmother, "I enjoy spending time with you, I like staying over your house, but I have been with you 2 days now, I need to see my mother."

19. Texting

The mother texted her son to make sure the grand child was ready when she came by to get him. When she picked up her grandchild the child asked, “ Grandmother were you texting and driving?” She replied,”No, I pulled over in the store parking lot to text,”

20. Thinking Cap

Another 4-year-old was told by her parent that she needed to put on her thinking cap, but she could continue playing. The 4-year-old instead went into the front room and sat on the couch. The other siblings ask, "What is wrong?" "You can still play with us." The 4-year-old replied, " I am thinking."

21. Words

A mother told her 4-year-old child, “You did a great job.” The child responded, “Yes, stupendous.” The mother replied, “Where did you hear that word?” The child said, “I just know it means “cool.”

22. Work

A mother brought her son to work. It was "Bring your child to work Day." Her child sat in front of everyone and said, "Mom is this the guy you have to suck up to everyday?" (again out of the mouths of babes)

23. Mother Daughter Talk

A mother told her daughter to sit down they were going to have a mother and daughter talk. Her daughter told her, “Okay mom what do you want to know?”

What funny things have your kids said? Please share with us.

 Will you share this article with a friend?

Guest Blogging:

Yes I am accepting guest bloggers. Would you like to guest blog at 

                        anointedtoday.blogspot.com?

Just contact me at anointedtoday@comcast.net and let me know. Guest Blogging is another avenue for great exposure to your blog. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

or Visit My Store at

Zazzle.com Anointedtoday

Learn More From this Author. . .. Just Click the Link below. .. .

  

What Do You Know about Autism?

The Blessings are On Us

4 of My Additional Linky party pics