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Saturday, November 29, 2014

Do You Have Power Struggles with Your Children?

A wise man once said, “Pick your battles carefully.” I could not agree more. There are probably many battles that you could have with your children, but is it worth it?

A wise parent might be wise to choose which battles that you want to choose in order to not have a power struggle with your children.

Engage Problems Solving

Amy Morin talks about working with a parent that insisted their teenager's room be kept clean. The teenager felt differently and thought it unreasonable to keep it clean daily. They problem solved together and came to the compromise that the teenager's door would be kept shut through the week and the teenager would clean it on the weekend.

Note: There may be times when compromise is not a viable solution, especially if it cause grave harm to a child.

Successful Techniques for Educators:


According to James Lehman at empoweringparents.com, you may give kids some choices. For example, “You can start your chores when you get home from day camp or wait until I get home.” He further adds that when you get into an argument with your child about what you expect them to do, then you are giving your kid more power. These are choices and it is clear they are expected to be done, but the choice as to when they are done has shifted to the child. He further adds that when you get into an argument with your child about what you expect them to do, then you are giving your kid more power. Rather than argue state what will be done and walk out of the room.

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If some rules you have been enforcing with your toddler are not working, you want to review this and see what you can change to be more effective.

Plan Ahead

Parentingperspectives.com talks about giving notice of time. They suggest letting your children know that you will be leaving the playground in 5 or ten minutes. I have used this technique with my grandchildren and it does work. I started when they were 2 and 3 years old. I notice at the playground or different events there would be children crying because they did not want to leave. I did not experience this with my grands because I gave them advance warning and when the time is up, it is up. They further add that by enlisting your children's help, helps them to feel valuable. We all need help at some time or another. Let your child know it would be helpful if they helped you set the table. Remember there is no need for power struggles when they can be avoided.


Personal Experience

By Amy Morin, Discipline Expert

by James Lehman, MSW

By Parenting Perspectives

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  1. Pick your battles - amen! Thank you for sharing at Waiting on...Wednesday!

    Holly @ www.iwillservewhileiwait.blogspot.com