Just as we are not perfect, children are not perfect, so do not try to make them be. Let them be children. They will have plenty of time to grow up.
|tips on parenting|
Yes there are consequences for our actions. Children need to know that. No we do not reward them for wrongful actions. We let them know at the time what is not acceptable.
Keep in mind children are learning and they are curious. Think back when you were a child. Maybe that is part of the problem. You remember many of the hateful and mischievous things that you did and you do not want your children to do that. That is quite understandable. When children become adults they are going to make their own decisions, which by the way, you may totally disagree with. So while they are children try and teach them what is correct and allow them some room for mistakes. We all make mistakes. As long as we live there will be times that we will make mistakes. Hopefully we will learn from the mistakes. This is some of the best parenting advice that I could give you.
Let your children know that you are not so perfect. Let them know that you made mistakes as a child. Children sometimes see us as having made no mistakes and having everything together. I shared with my children as a child my grandmother told me not to eat the green apples from the tree down the street because they would give me a stomach ache. I was 5 or 6 years old. What did I do? As soon as our neighbor was not home her son told me and my best friend we could come down and get green apples from the tree. I would climb the tree and throw the apples down to my friends. Anyway we were not aware another neighbor was watching us and told our parents. Well we were definitely disciplined that evening. My best friend was crying, then everyone could hear me crying. I told them this to let them know that we were not perfect, but there was a consequence for our behavior. My children laughed about it.
Just face it. Your children are going to do some things right and some things wrong. Even though you tell them what is right, they will want to find out for themselves. I recall one of my children calling a phone sex line. When I got my phone bill, I called the phone company and said this must be a mistake. They assured me it is no mistake. I asked my children about the calls. No one knew anything about it. So I decided everyone‘s allowance would just pay for the bill. They did not like that. Each one kept making remarks such as, “Whoever did it better speak up, I do not want to lose my allowance.” So eventually the one child came forward and talked to me in private. She said her and her girlfriend thought it was a toll-free number that they called. So I was glad she came forward and I explained there is still a consequence for what happened. So her allowance was to pay for it. Luckily the calls came to $20.00. I was thankful because it could have been higher. I still loved my child. I did not think any less of her because of this.
Often toddlers or a baby might cry in church. Or a toddler walks around doing service. My pastor would say leave the child alone. He knows children will be children.
No one wants to be blamed and criticized when they make a mistake. Usually when a mistake is made a child or anyone feels bad enough already. Just keep in mind no one is perfect, so stop trying to make our children be perfect. There is no perfect child.
Morguefile.com by phaewilk
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