How Well Do You Listen?

Do you know whether you listen well? Do you dominate the conversation and never take time to listen and learn?

Did You Know?

1. Is Listening a Skill or an Art?

Is listening a skill or an art? Could it possibly be a combination of both? According to market.excel.com it is not just an art it is also a survival skill, in a noisy world of self-absorption and distractions. They further add that that it is not about just hearing words, it is about connecting with others. I can definitely identify with that. Have you ever heard someone say, “you are the first person that has listened to me.” or “No one has ever taken the time to listen to me.”

2. Are You an Effective Listener?

Do you know the characteristics of being an effective listener? They are as follows:

a. Probing

b. Paraphrasing

c. Summarizing

d. focusing of attention

e. Acceptance

f. non-verbal behavior

g. Advice

These are all mentioned at teaching.uchicago.edu.

I like the one regarding focusing of attention. Have you ever talked to someone and you realized they were not really listening to you, but rather their mind was somewhere else and definitely not focusing on what you were saying to them. When this happens, it makes you wonder why did you attempt to talk to them in the first place.

3. Are You an Active Listener?

Did you know that becoming an active listener includes paying attention, showing that you are listening, providing feedback, deferring judgment, and responding appropriately. Wayne.edu/learning talks about this. I particularly like showing that you are listening and providing feedback. As mentioned earlier if you are paying attention you will show with your body language that you are listening.

How many of you know that feedback is so important? Repeating what you have heard back to the person that you are talking lets you and them know that you are talking about the same thing. How many times have you repeated something back to someone and their response to you was, “No that is not what I am saying.” The English language can be difficult at times, especially when it comes to saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

3. Are You a Good Listener?

Maybe you feel you are already a good listener, but could you possibly improve on your listening skills? Do you show curiosity by asking questions? The balancemoney.com talks about this. They further add that good listeners encourage and welcome the thoughts, opinions and feelings of others. This is so important because when you are listening to others they need to know and feel that what they are saying matters. How many time have you after listening to someone learned something that you did not know? That is why listening can be an invaluable asset to you. I know there have been numerous times when I listened to others and learned something new.

4. Are You Really Listening?

I recall when I was in college my teacher asked us to talk with the person next to us for a few minutes. After talking the teacher asked each one of us to tell what we learned about the other person. We did not realize it beforehand that this was an exercise concerning our listening skills. Strangely enough some learned more about others and some learned less, but it was a great exercise regarding our listening skills.

5. What are Listening Ears?

You may ask what are listening ears? Have you been in a classroom and heard the teacher ask the children, “Put on your listening ears?” There is a specific reason the teacher does that. Specifically so that the children will stop what they are doing, listen without interruption, to ask questions, and possibly summarize later. This is also mentioned at Karencatlin.com. The listening ears are so important with children in the classroom because they can become distracted and not hear any instructions whatsoever.

6. It is Not About You

Did you know that when you are actively listening it is not about you? Instead it is about showing someone empathy, putting yourself in their shoes, and realizing that if you end up talking to much you possibly may not be actively listening. This is possibly a lost art of effective listening that should be used more often. Mentalhealthweek.ca mentions this and further adds that you might not want to put too much pressure on yourself to get it right, because you are not there to fix a problem, but rather to let them know that you understand. Have you ever listened to someone talking to you and thought to yourself, “I have felt that exact same way in the past.” or “I actually know that feeling.”

7. Effective Listening Skills With Children

I recall a friend of mine. She had just met my toddler grandchild. Although I did not realize it at the time, as she talked to him she bent down to his level. I did not realize it then that that is so important when talking with children; getting down to their level. Getting down to your children’s level makes it easier to follow their lead, you will be more aware of your words to model for them, your children will know that you are interested in them and what they are doing, your children will be able to see your mouth movements that you model for them, and you will be able to encourage good eye contact. This all makes good sense too. Library.shelfieldchildrens.nhs.uk. talks about this.    In fact I can identify with nonverbal cues. I recall when my grandson was 5-years-old he sat on the couch and acted as though he was picking at his lip. In reality he had been watching his grandfather pick at his mustache so I realized my grandson was imitating him. Although at 5-years-old he had no mustache he pretended that he did at that time.

Now possibly you have not been an effective listener, just remember it is not too late to start.

Source:

Listening is not just an art, it’s a survival skill!

  

Characteristics of an Effective Listening

 

Chrome-extension: wayned.edu/learning-communities

 

What are Listening Skills?

 

Turn on Your Listening Ears

 

The Art of Listening in Six Simple Steps

 

Language strategies: Getting Down to Your Child’s Level

 

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