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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Is Your Child Disrespectful?

Is your child or teen disrespectful to you or others? Possibly you have observed other children being disrespectful? What do you do about your disrespectful child? 

No one wants a disrespectful child. When you became a parent there was no manual for you to tell you what to do. Many of the problems that you encounter will be solved by trial and error. You want to be educated to have the tools that will work for you and your family. When disrespect has started at an early age such as 3 or 4, it is important to start correcting then, because it may become much harder to correct later. It is important that your child know that if they are not respectful to you and just happen to end up in juvenile detention, they will show respect there or suffer the dire consequences.

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According to About.com you should give a warning about the consequences of what will happen if the disrespectful behavior doesn't change. They give an example of children interrupting you while you are on the telephone. They further suggest letting children know they will be sent to their room if they persist. You may want to give a different consequence, because now some children's rooms are so nicely equipped with television and the internet, they really do not mind. When I recall an incident at a Pizza Restaurant, there clearly were no consequences for this particular child. As my 4 children and I sat down waiting for our pizza another couple came in with their son of about 4 or 5-years-old. They sat down and ordered. The next thing I knew the young boy jumped up on the table. I could not hear what he was saying but he was shaking his finger at his mother and father. I could tell the parents were embarrassed. They eventually got up and ordered the pizza to take out. My children looked at me and said, “Mom aren't you glad we do not act like that?” I responded, “You will not act like that.” This was so sad to see that child acting so disrespectful.

Right Consequences

Right consequences are important because when your child is disrespectful and you follow through on the consequences, it is of no avail if their consequence is no television that day, because your child may not even care to watch television. Although, I do not know what child does not want to watch television. But the point is that it needs to be a consequence of something that is meaningful to your child.

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Children need to be held accountable for their actions which include no name calling, cursing, or blaming others. Everyone gets frustrated so they need to learn how to handle those frustrations. They need to know that if they are going to try you, then you are going to follow through on the consequences. They need to be told when their behavior is not acceptable. Now I know that old saying is true when a parent might say, “It hurts me more than it hurts you.” Because as parents you want the best for your children and hate to chastise them, but sometimes it is just necessary. It is important to deal with this when they are children, because when they become adults it gets worse.

Disrespectful Adults

I have seen other adults disrespectful to their parents. I have seen adults that expect their parents to babysit because they live together. That is a no-no and parents should not tolerate it. I have seen adult children that go into their parents rooms without asking. I have even seen adults that were belligerent to their parents in public by cursing them or talking down to them. Again, parents this should not be tolerated. Parents should remove themselves form these types of situations as soon as possible or either have the adult move. These are unacceptable behaviors and need to me made known to that adult child. Parents you would not tolerate this from another adult then by all means do not tolerate it from your adult child.

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Personal Experience

5 Ways to Handle Disrespectful Behavior from Children or Teens

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Credit: Commons, wikimedia.org, Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication, by Granny Enchanted, 6.10.2013
Copyright: Commons, wikimedia.org, Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication, by Granny Enchanted, 6.10.2013

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  1. It seems to be all sin has consequences and it really needs to be a consequence that actually means something to get a child to understand. In some families that will be the rod of reproof, or maybe they miss out on desert or tea itself. We so need to teach our children to respect adults and others. Thanks for sharing at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

  2. This is one area that I really have no patience for. Disrespect is not something that I will tolerate with our kiddos - either to each other or to adults. Thank you for sharing at Waiting on...Wednesday!