Sunday, January 6, 2013

Parents Stop Beating Yourself Up


How many times have you compared yourself to someone else? I know that I have been guilty of doing so. That is one of the worst things that you can do, because you are unique. There is no one else like you. There may be some similarities, but that is it. How many times have you played the negative thoughts in your head, “My hair is not as pretty as hers or my stomach is not flat like hers?” You need to stop beating yourself up by comparing yourself to someone else. Why not be the best you that you can be no matter what it is? If you are not happy with your hair do not compare, but do something about it. Read about hair; get as much information as you can about hair. Possibly go to a beautician and get a makeover with your hair. Try a style that you have never worn before. You might think, Oh I might not like it. So if you don’t like it, change it. You do not know until you try.

Parenting tip

Parenting trial & Error

A woman once told another she admired how well she communicated with her children. She looked at her mistakes and what she was not doing right rather than looking at what she was doing right. She did not see that the woman she complimented had years of experience with trial & error. Parenting is trial & error. Unfortunately, it does not come with a manual. There are several well-written articles and books that have been written, but no guarantee they will help you with your child dilemma. So if you want to be a better communicator with your children, you start practicing. Will you make mistakes? Yes, because no one is perfect. You learn from your mistakes and take them as lessons well-learned. 

Admit Mistakes

Remember as a parent you do not have to be perfect. Children like to know that they are not the only ones that make mistakes. They can understand if you make a mistake and apologize for it. That takes a big person to do so. I recall talking with a mother that admitted she thought her child was faking being sick so she could stay up late. She felt so bad when she found out that her child really was sick. She later apologized to her child stating she should have known she would not pretend about being sick. Again, she should not beat herself up about it. Parents make mistakes. Just be sure to realize it, admit it, correct it, and apologize. You will be surprise at how effective saying, “I am sorry,” can be.

Negative Thoughts

Again, you can be your own worst enemy. Those thoughts that are bouncing around in your head should be positive thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively, correct it right then with a positive thought. If you are not used to positive thinking, will you make mistakes and slip back to negative thoughts? Probably yes. The good thing though is that you can correct your thinking because your brain is like a tape recorder. If you recorded it wrong, then record it correctly. For example, if you find yourself saying, “I am a bad mother I forgot to make sure my child had her hat on in this cold weather.” You could correct this statement by saying, “I forgot to make sure my child wore her hat today in this cold weather.” “What can I do to make sure this does not happen again?” I will do better in the future.

According to Huffingtonpost.com, according to a new study done that physically writing down your negative thoughts and then actually throwing them away really works. So just remember you can get rid of negative thoughts. It is your choice.


Personal Experience

To Clear Negative Thoughts, Physically Throw Them Away: Study


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1 comment:

  1. "She didn't see that woman had years of trial and error." This is an excellent point. Too often we don't consider the fact that someone else is gifted in a particular area simply because they have already come through the trenches that we are currently mulling through. Nice.