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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

When Children Worry

There are a multitude of reasons why children might worry. Many times parents can alleviate their worries by assuring them, and giving reaffirming assurance that things will be okay. Other times, other measures might need to be taken.

1. Cyber Bullying

The new type of bully in this generation is the cyber bully. Children will bully others from their computers. This is just as bad as bullying in person, also it can reach a larger audience, which possibly could be more detrimental eventually. Children may feel helpless and worry when cyber bullying occurs. They need strength and support because they can be very vulnerable. They can be very worried about being accepted by their peer group, because they want to be liked and accepted. If they are being bullied in school, you need to know and be able to deal with it. The teacher needs to know and it needs to be dealt with.

Margaret Ross,President of the Kamaron Institute, talks about Cyber Bullying below. She talks about how to protect your children from cyber bullying:







Bullying





2. Doubt

Even the brightest and smartest of children may at some point and time in their life doubt themselves. They may tend to feel that they should have done beater, because no one likes to loose. They possibly might feel they should have gotten an “A” on a paper instead of a “B”. Again I say, keep the communication open so if you discover they are worrying about this, deal with it. Let your children know that the important thing is that they do their best. Explain that they can take some things as a learning experience. Life is a learning experience. A lot depends on how well one learns a lesson. By discussing your child’s worry, this can lesson the anxiety.

3. Reading and Writing

Possibly your child may have worries about reading and writing. There are numerous children that are passed on to the next grade not knowing how to read or write. Sometimes they go through school and life like that. If you discover they are worried and discouraged about this, deal with it . If you do not deal with it, it definitely will not get better. According to President Obama, “1.2 million students drop out of school each year before graduating from high school.” If you are unable to help your child with reading and writing find someone that can. Someone that the child can relate to. Start your toddlers out early reading and writing before they even start school. Expose your children to many books.

4. Sickness

If a parent has been sick the majority of the time, this can be a source of worry to the child. The child may worry that the parent is going to die. The child may worry about what would happen to themselves if a parent died. The child may worry that the parent will never get better. These are legitimate worries, but need to be addressed. Parents can assure their child that they may not be sick always and that they will have some good days and bad days. Everyone in life has some good days and some bad days. Explain that everyone in life will die eventually, we just never know the exact time or date. Attempt to have good times and fun times when your child can laugh and have fun. The laughter is good for both of you. Sometimes not knowing what the future holds can be a source of worry. But explain to your child that you have and believe things will be better and you have faith that things will be okay no matter what. Stay positive and speak positive not negative.

5. Scary pictures

It is important to monitor what your children are seeing and hearing. Naturally you cannot be with them 24 hours a day, but when you are with them are you allowing them to watch scary movies? Are you possibly witnessing them not being able to sleep, because they are afraid the “boggy man will get them?” Some of the (parental guidance) pictures on television need to be monitored as well, because many of them now will have cursing and sexual situations that a child probably should not see or hear. Things that used to be considered not acceptable on television have now become acceptable., so it is up to the parent to do what he/she can to monitor their situation. If the child happens to hear cursing on television address it and deal with it. Let children know that is not acceptable. Just because they said it on television does not make it acceptable.

6. School

Sometimes children will worry about school issues, but will not tell or discuss them with their parents. They may dislike school because they are not understanding a certain subject or they are having difficulty in a subject. They may worry that they are not going to pass a class. This may cause them to not want to go to school. They may not even understand the relevance of taking certain subjects, that do not pertain to what it is that they want to become in life. As parents when you keep the line of communication open you can sometimes discover some of the worries and deal with them. “Nip them in the bud” as someone has once said. If there is a certain subject they are having trouble with, help them with it or find a tutor that can help them. Sometimes you just might need a different approach to the subject for the child to learn. Even though a subject might not be related to what it is they want to become in life, they need to know that a variety of subjects. This can help to make them a well- rounded person, even though they may eventually specialize in a certain field.

7. Allowed To be Children

Children need not to be burdened down with so much responsibility that they are not allowed to be children. They need to be allowed to play, laugh, and just have fun. Children should not given more than they can bear. They need to not be afraid to make some mistakes. Hopefully they learn from their mistakes and realize everyone makes mistakes. Also, there is hope that they will not continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.


Resources:


http://www.worrywisekids.org/

http://healing.about.com/od/spiritualparenting/a/postivechildren.htm

http://www.nahec.org/KidsPoll/what_kids_worry_about/KidsPoll_Worries_Teacher_Handout.pdf

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